“You Should Buy Some Sexier Clothes”

I got a message on my Facebook page today from someone I don’t know. It was a guy, and his message was as follows:

“hey your story inspire me a lot you are living the dream and it’s not an easy decision that you made i respect , you are saving money .. i suggest that you spend money to get a professional camera and little tutoriels in photoshop and a some sexy clothes people will love to see stunning pictures and stunning videos focus in that more than articles and they will share pictures then you will have more popularity”

The first time I read this, I was shocked. Is he serious? He thinks that I should become some kind of sexy model, posting pictures of myself and videos in sexy clothes, and abandon writing!? I interpret this as him saying that I am of more value (to him) when I post attractive photos than when I have something to say that I hope will inspire and change people. I am trying very hard to not be judgmental and/or take this very personally. The four agreements, you know?

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I have been a feminist for years, ever since I learned what it was. I strongly believe that women should have equal rights as men, we should be getting paid the same amount for the same work, and we should be valued more in society, at least as equals to men. It seriously disturbs me to see the effects on women of the media telling them to look a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain way. It drives me up the wall to hear men tell women that they should be staying at home to clean the house and do their laundry. I was actually shocked when my now-ex boyfriend once told me that I needed to act more like a girlfriend by cleaning up the house and cooking him dinner more often.

Feminism gets a bad rap in our culture. So many people assume that feminists are all man-haters. This is so far from the truth. I consider myself a feminist but I have nothing against men. I believe men and women should be EQUAL; this doesn’t mean that I hate men.

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Women have so much to offer in the world other than showing off their bodies. I believe that I have so much more to offer than what this guy suggests. I don’t take what he said personally, but people like this are the reason why we don’t have equality between men and women.

Traveling has taught me so much about cultural differences in regards to feminism. When I visited Denmark, I realized that the gap in equality between men and women is very small there. It’s safe for women to walk alone at night, because rape is so rare. I realized what it could be like to live in a society where women and men were valued as equals.


This message comes at an interesting time, considering one of the most popular topics in media in the United States at the moment. The Stanford rape case is gaining so much media attention. If you haven’t heard of it, basically what happened is that a Stanford student aggressively raped a passed out girl for 20 minutes behind a dumpster. He was sent to court and got a sentence of 6 months, which was reduced to 3 months. His father said that this was a high price to pay for “20 minutes of action.” I’m sure this is just as disgusting to the general population as it is to me.

Feminism is such an important topic, and I hope that everyone reading this is an advocated for equal rights. I hope this article makes you think about what feminism means to you. For now, I will respond to the message above letting my new friend know that I wrote an article about him. I would be interested to know – how would you respond to a message like this?

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1 Comment

  1. Lori
    June 13, 2016 / 8:21 pm

    UNBELIEVABLE, Some people are clueless to what is important in life. Wow…. I couldn’t agree more on your comment to this guy. You don’t hear women talking like this about men.

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